Book of Adam: Swan Song Redux
by Eve-the-Charlotte
Summary: An excerpt from the Winchester Gospels, as written by Chuck. This is a reading from the Book of Adam. And a word to the wise, never deprive Samuel Winchester, true Vessel of Lucifer, of his morning coffee and his archangel. That is all. High T.


_Book of Adam: Swan Song Redux _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Pairings: Castiel/Dean, Gabriel/Sam, and hinted Adam/Michael (Michelle!)

Disclaimer: If I owned Supernatural, this would have been made into an episode already.

Summary: An excerpt from the Winchester Gospels, as written by the Prophets (and Prophetess Claire Novak). This is a reading from the Book of Adam. And a word to the wise, never deprive Samuel Winchester, true Vessel of Lucifer, of his morning coffee and his archangel. That is all.

Yet another late night story from this author's sleep-deprived mind. This one was written between one and three in the morning so, again, hope you readers enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

&CaffeineJunkiesUnite&

Adam Milligan wasn't really sure how the final confrontation between Lucifer, Michael, and his insanely idiotic (or was it idiotically insane?) half-brothers was supposed to go, but he was pretty damn sure it didn't involve a caffeine-deprived Sam reaming out Lucifer for his jealousy issues and God complex and what not (until there were tears in the devil's eyes, what the fuck?) and a sobbing Michael (his vessel, a young auburn-haired woman who appeared to be cooking from the inside out and, fuck, Adam was _so_ damn relieved that he hadn't even hesitated before telling the archangel to stick his offer where the sun don't shine) who was being awkwardly comforted by a highly confused Dean (who apparently felt bad for the woman/man/angel/whatever, though not enough to offer his body as a vessel; at least Adam thought it was an emotionally constipated comfort attempt. Adam wouldn't know; he didn't speak "asshole" as fluently as Dean did). Castiel, who Adam often referred to in his head as "Special Ed. Angel" or "The Little Angel That Could," seemed to be working something out in his head, hopefully whatever the fuck was going on here, or he could be thinking about Dean and their blasphemous sex life (Adam had a running twenty dollar bet with Sam that his oldest half-brother was the one on the receiving end, if you knew what he meant), or he could even be contemplating Einstein's theory of relativity, because Castiel had the best poker face on the goddamn (literally, if this was the real deal) planet. All in all, Adam just wanted some popcorn so he could truly enjoy the nth degree ridiculousness panning out in front of him.

However, a voice then started chanting in Enochian (the language of the angels, if Adam wasn't mistaken), and a flaming portal opened in front of the biggest mausoleum in Stull Cemetery. Lucifer appeared to have stopped whimpering for a goddamn second, took one look at the Flaming Portal of Doom (what? It was a completely accurate description!), and ran like hell (oh, the irony). The devil, unfortunately, moved about three steps before coming face to face (well, face to space over head) with an average looking guy. Seriously, the guy was nothing special, average height, average weight, average looks, maybe a little sleazy looking in a used car salesman kind of way, except A.) he radiated power in a rather scary manner (it matched his pissed off expression), B.) he had fucking wings, no matter how semi-transparent, that were huge, glowing gold and bronze, and made out of light made liquid-solid-compressed gas (it was hard to describe, okay? It's not like Adam had seen anything like it before), C.) he was carrying two weapons, one of which was a silvery looking blunted short sword (that was probably more than it appeared if slumming it with his brothers had taught Adam anything) and a fucking _flaming sword_ (Jesus Christ, it was _biblical_, that thing), and D.) he was making threatening stabby motions at a stunned Lucifer (who was mumbling disbelievingly about having killed this guy before and _how_ was he _alive_?Sheesh, melodramatic much) while ordering the devil to "get your ass back in the fucking Cage, Lucille, before I shiv you."

After looking back and forth between the pissy angel (because he could be nothing less) and a homicidal Sam Winchester (who Adam was _never_ approaching again without a huge cup of Starbucks in one hand because a caffeine-deprived Sam equals Boy King of Hell on a killing spree), the devil called it quits and just swan dived back into the Pit, which at that point probably seemed to be the best option available to a former archangel whose Apocalypse-starting plans were shot straight to hell (pun totally intended). Before the door slammed shut (metaphorically speaking that is), though, Michael (who Adam couldn't help but think of as a "Michelle" at the moment) eyed the Cage wearily, as though bracing herself (himself? itself? whatever) for the inevitable end, before beginning to step tentatively toward the Flaming Portal of Doom. At this point, Adam admitted that he may have temporarily lost a few fries in his Happy Meal as he gripped Michelle's wrist as tightly as he could and whispered (shouted? Adam to this day couldn't figure out which it was), "Stay."

Michelle turned and stared at Adam in confusion, wondering just as much as Adam what the fuck this silly Winchester reject was thinking. "Please stay," Adam repeated because he had to, because this wasn't how it was supposed to end, because Adam had believed Michael was just and pure, and the archangel couldn't go to Hell, and Adam needed his faith rewarded for just fucking _once_, damnit! Mostly, it was because the vessel's emerald green eyes revealed that Michelle was just so much more and deserved a second chance as much as the rest of the fucked up crew assembled in Stull Cemetery that night did. Michelle cocked her head to the side (like the overgrown parrot that Adam just _knew_ that all angels totally were), as though he were Dean (now wasn't that a scary thought?), she were Castiel (an even scarier notion), and Adam/Dean was doing something so irrationally, inexplicably kind and selfless so out of the blue that Michelle/Castiel just couldn't fathom the "why" of it. Then Michelle spoke something in a language Adam would never understand if he lived for a thousand years (it sounded like war, agony, heartbreak, despair, hate, love, and the most poignant, wistful sorrow in all the world) before turning and tugging Adam away from the Flaming Portal of Doom as the vortex collapsed on itself as soon as Dean threw the rings in, like a supernova turning into a black hole, and dissipated entirely, as though it never existed on this plane in the first place.

After that dramatic climax (in Adam's opinion, which requires absolutely no input from the audience, especially by women named Becky who support the idea of an incestuous relationship between his stupid, insane, ridiculously lucky half-brothers), the events that followed happened in relatively short order. Firstly, Gabriel, as Adam soon found out who he was (it figured that the pacifistic Messenger of the Lord would be the one to have the cajones to stand up to Lucifer), disappeared and reappeared within a blink of an eye toting a large expensive coffee drink from Starbucks, which the archangel proceeded to offer to Sam, who looked ecstatic gazing upon the concoction and made very inappropriate, orgasmic sighs and groans when drinking it. After a few gulps, Sam's eyes widened dramatically as he whispered "Gabriel" with so much disbelief that was tinged with enough hope to make Adam's heart hurt if Sam was to be disappointed. The angel Gabriel merely smiled fondly and chuckled, "Yeah, Samsquatch, I'm back, kiddo. Didja ya miss me, Samuel?" The sacred Starbucks coffee cup dropped as Sam pulled Gabriel into a fiercely tight hug, pressing his head into the junction between the archangel's neck and shoulder (which should have looked so awkward but seemed perfectly natural with the pair) and muttered softly, "I thought you were dead. I-I didn't want you to be dead."

Gabriel, Messenger of the Lord, looked surprised as the rest of them at that admission before fucking _beaming_ (there was no other way Adam could describe the glow, like a halo around his whole being) and embracing Sam back before drawing back, tilting Sam's head toward his, and planting the most passionate kiss Adam had ever seen on Sam's lips (it radiated love and affection and adoration and passion so much that Adam, the other angels, and even Dean couldn't help but be glad at the sight of it). After a few moments (after which the emotions were becoming uncomfortable to witness; Adam couldn't tell if it was the angel love or the demon blood that allowed Sam to not need oxygen for that long a period of time), the couple parted, Sam panting heavily and Gabriel just wearing a kind of dopey grin that screamed utter happiness, before Gabriel's grin transforming into that of a hungry wolf spotting a lost, lonely little lamb and asking Sam, "You. Me. Bali?" Sam just smiled as though all his earthly desires were coming to fruitation right, left, and center (seriously, wasn't Dean supposed to be the one with the gay angel love affair? Oh, how Adam was being betrayed!). Gabriel chuckled again before letting his still visible wings (he vanished the weapons away before running his coffee errand), all six of them in full glory, surround himself and Sam, cocooning them briefly before zapping away a heartbeat later, presumably to the island of Bali in Indonesia.

Meanwhile, Castiel and Michelle were having some sort of serious angelic telepathic conversation (either that or Castiel was practicing his eye-sex technique on Michelle instead of Dean; he wouldn't blame the angel; Adam had to admit that Michael's current vessel was much prettier than his dickish brother) before the two angels looked simultaneously (Adam wondered if the two practiced the motion before, like synchronized looking instead of synchronized swimming) and vanished into the night air. Dean at the same time was tromping back to the Impala, mumbling something about booze and women (because when it comes to Denial, Dean Winchester is King) and just taking off and leaving Adam standing alone in the middle of a portal-to-Hell-containing graveyard at ass o'clock at night (or possibly in the morning) because Adam's oldest half-brother is a complete motherfucking dick.

After all this came to pass, Adam zipped up the leather jacket he borrowed (read: took without permission) from Dean and planned to walk to the nearest phone booth and call a taxi to take him to a hotel with hot water and a relatively clean, bedbug-free bed. Well, Adam had planned on doing that but, as with many things that Adam has planned to do before, those plans were interrupted, this time by a loud WHUMP along with thunder, lightning, and the whole meteorological she-bang. The sight that greeted Adam upon locating the impact crater, well, that is another story for another time (to be told by Michael, who could weave the tale in a way that Adam never could). The moral of this story is to always give caffeine junkies their fix because they can scare the hell out of the devil if deprived. Also, never court angels; they're far more trouble than they're worth (ignore the archangel in the ginger vessel beckoning Adam to bed; Adam didn't say he took his own advice, now did he?).

&CaffeineJunkiesUnite&

Fin.


End file.
